Maximum Ride Is Better Than Ranger's Apprentice
by Daughters of Night
Summary: Exactly what the title suggests. Born from an agrument between Fyeray Rowanstaff and I, as well as her story, Why Ranger's Apprentice Is Better Than Max Ride. Some randomness.
1. Chapter 1: Wargals and Intros

**It's on.**

**So, my dear arguing buddy,** **Fyeray Rowanstaff****, says that not only is Ranger's Apprentice better than Maximum Ride, but that Will Treaty can shoot blind.**

**Which is why this story is here.**

**Willers can not shoot blind, kidohkedo. And Max PWNS him. ^.^**

**Let us continue…**

* * *

Alex: Alrightly then! Welcome to our new show, _**Maximum Ride is better than Ranger's Apprentice!**_ Now, the whole point of this show is to make sure that everyone knows two things:

One: **MAXIMUM RIDE PWNS RANGER'S APPRENTICE!!**

Two: **WILL TREATY CANNOT SHOOT BLIND! Tis impossible!**

How do we prove this, you say? Why, we have a contest of course! Much like Fyeray had! But better!

So, here are the teams:

On Team PWNage is…Maximum Ride, Fang, Angel, Gazzy, and Iggy!

-wild cheering, fireworks launch-

Angel: -waves like the supposed innocent little child that she is-

Gazzy: -farts-

Max: -cackles, because, seriously, she need to cackle more-

Fang: -is our silent emo-ish kid-

Fang: I AM NOT EMO!

Alex: Denial still? You really should fix that. I mean, you have Iggy and Gazzy…

Iggy: -winks-

Alex: -cackles- Anyfroodles!

On Team Okay, But Not As Awesome As Maximum Ride: Will Treaty, Halt, Gilan, Horace, and Alyss!

-cheering-

Will: Really? That's our name?

Alex: Look, it's midnight, I had steak for two days in a row, have been forced to sit through several cheerleader movie that make me want to puke and die, so my imagination is running low. Shut up before I blind you and let an angry Max kill you.

Halt: I wouldn't let that happen.

Gilan: Or me.

Horace: Or me.

Alyss: Or me.

Alex: HAHA!! Yay, I get to prove my point even earlier than planned!

So, reasons that the Flock would PWN the Ranger charries?

1) Angel has mind controlling abilities. She's a demon child.

Angel: -waves-

Alex: Which is why I love her. Evil demonic children are my heroes! ^.^

2) Fang. Fang is a kick butt ninja boy who is, I shall admit, extremely hot and has dark hair.

Fang: -smirk-

Max: -glares in general direction of me-

Alex: I wish I had dark hair…stupid blond-ness.

3) Pyromaniacs One and Two would blow them up before they got close.

Gazzy: -cackles like a demonic eight year old with bombs-

Iggy: Wait, am I not worthy of being told that I'm hot too?

Alex: But you have blond hair…

Iggy: So does Max.

Alex: Her hair changes. One minute it's blond, then blond with pink streaks, then brown, then brown with blond streaks…You get my point.

Iggy: …But I'm a hot blind pyro.

Alex: This is true. We shall admit you as hot.

Iggy: -cackles-

And my best reason? Max. Especially a very pissed off Max. Because as we all know, Max is better than a ninja. Much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much--

Everyone: GET ON WITH IT!

Alex: Much better than a ninja like the Rangers.

Will: They are not.

Alex: Shut up, non-mutant boy.

Will: You aren't a mutant either.

Alex: . -shoots-

Halt, Gilan, Alyss, and Horace: NOOO! -turn towards Alex-

Alex: I'm kidding, this is a random story that no one shall ever read, so chillax. I shall temporarily bring him back.

Halt: Temporarily?

Alex: I may shoot him later.

Halt: …

Will: Ow. You shot me! You can't do that!

Alex: I'm an insane writer. I can make you a six year old girl with a tutu and bad hair.

Will:… Can we move on?

Alex: Of course! Because I'm wearing my magical Camp Half-Blood t-shirt! And I have noodles!

Max: Noodles?

Alex: Noodles.

Fang: I don't see any noodles.

Alex: Because they are disguised as nachos.

Will: But there aren't any nachos either…

Horace: What are nachos?

Alex:…Nevermind. I simply do not have the energy to rant about nachos at the moment. Maybe on a different story.

Now our contests are going to be fairly simple.

First, we're going to prove that our members of the Flock---

-wild cheering-

Can defeat the Rangers--

--mild cheering--

At fighting Wargals/Flyboys and that Will cannot shoot blind!

Everyone:… That's it?

Alex: What? I'm gonna make more, just not at a time when I feel like I have a hangover.

Everyone: Oh.

Alex: Everyone's a critic.

Okay. Let us commence!

Angel: Aww, look, its froggies!

Max: XD This is it? We fight these losers? This is going to be easy!

Fang: -smirks-

Iggy: Huh? What's going on?

Alex: Sadly, Iggy, according to the rules, you have lost points. No questions.

Iggy: I'll teach you a bomb trick…

Alex: -drools- Bombs…

-unicorns pop out of nowhere- ALEX!! NEVER LISTEN TO MAGICAL BOMB THREATS OF DOOM!

Alex: But…but…magical bombs…

Unicorns: DON'T LISTEN TO THE CARDS!!

Alex: -sobs- I'm sorry Iggy!

Iggy: -is despressed-

Alex: -sobs harder-

Anyfroodles, back to our fight.

Angel: -does evil mind control to make all the Wargals attack Ranger charries as she cackles evily-

Will: No fair!

Horace: GAH!! -draws sword- ATTACK!

-Ranger charries attack-

Flock: -cackles-

Iggy: And now, for the highlight of this horrible story,

Gazzy: We, the pyromaniacs, shall blow the Wargals up!!

Alex: Wait, wouldn't that mean--

---_**BOOM!!!!!---**_

Alex: …Kill everyone near the Wargals.

Gazzy: Ooh…

Iggy: We may be awesome, but we have flawed logic.

Alex: Oh well. We shall just give them to the unicorns for healing.

* * *

**Peace it out!**

**--Alex/Jenny**


	2. Chapter 2: Will Cannot Shoot Blind

**Haha. I haven't touched this story in forever…then some random reviewer pops up telling me there is no way Maximum Ride is better than Ranger's Apprentice (LIESS!! ALL OF IT, LIES!!).**

**Anyfroodles. I shall now continue with the story.**

**P.S: Fang might get severally injured in this chapter--I just read **_**Fang**_**. I'm an angry fan girl. I'm also an insane writer. And I have a strange and twisted imagination, that, once again, is on a low point…I blame it on the book. -glares in general direction of book- But that's okay. No one's going to read this anyfroodles.**

**(Insert awesome line here!! :D )**

Alex: And we're back! Cue smiley-con!

Random screen: :D :D :D :D :D

Fang: Was there a point to that?

Alex: SHUT UP YOU STUPID LITTLE MUTANT!! I'M TIRED OF YOUR CRAP!! EVEN IF IT WAS FOR THE FLOCK! AND MAX!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!!!

Max: -stares at Fang suspiciously- Did what?

Fang: I'm wondering the same thing.

Alex: -cackles- I'm not a book-spoiler, unless it's one of my friends and I'm feeling evil. But since you guys are my prisoners, haven't read the Maximum Ride series--

Gazzy: There's a series named after Max? COOL! Can we read it?

Alex: Shut up, pyro boy. I can't believe you did that either!

Gazzy:…

Alex: Hmm…but you, Iggy, Angel, and Nudge had a point…I'll forgive you. But not Fang. -glares-

Fang: -glares back-

Alex: -coughcough- Now, as I try and maintain what little sanity I have by yelling at characters who only exist in my dreams, fanfiction, books, and aren't really even mine, but I'm yelling at you anyfroodles, let's get back to the main point of this chapter. First however, let us do a recap:

Angel: Oh joy.

Alex: I'm watching you demon girl. I haven't forgiven you for what almost happened, actually happened, and then was reversed by Max's awesome powers.

Max: So I'm the only one you're not mad at?

Alex: I'm mad at you. You're turning girly on me. The only people I'm not mad at is Iggy, Gazzy, Nudge, Total, and Akila.

Max: But--

Alex: MOVING ON!!

Everyone: I, 5, 9, RECAP!!!

In our last chapter, we introduced the teams:

_**So, here are the teams:**_

_**On Team PWNage is…Maximum Ride, Fang, Angel, Gazzy, and Iggy!**_

_**-wild cheering, fireworks launch-**_

_**Angel: -waves like the supposed innocent little child that she is-**_

_**Gazzy: -farts-**_

_**Max: -cackles, because, seriously, she need to cackle more-**_

_**Fang: -is our silent emo-ish kid-**_

_**Fang: I AM NOT EMO!**_

_**Alex: Denial still? You really should fix that. I mean, you have Iggy and Gazzy…**_

_**Iggy: -winks-**_

_**Alex: -cackles- Anyfroodles!**_

_**On Team Okay, But Not As Awesome As Maximum Ride: Will Treaty, Halt, Gilan, Horace, and Alyss!**_

_**-mild cheering-**_

_**Will: Really? That's our name?**_

_**Alex: Look, it's midnight, I had steak for two days in a row, have been forced to sit through several cheerleader movie that make me want to puke and die, so my imagination is running low. Shut up before I blind you and let an angry Max kill you.**_

_**Halt: I wouldn't let that happen.**_

_**Gilan: Or me.**_

_**Horace: Or me.**_

_**Alyss: Or me.**_

_**Alex: HAHA!! Yay, I get to prove my point even earlier than planned!**_

And so on and so forth.

Then, I proved my point even earlier than planned.

After that, the Flock promptly beat up the Wargals.

Flock: Yeah! WOOT!

Alex: NO INTERUPTTING MY FANGING RECAP!!

Flock: -iz silenced-

Then, Iggy and Gazzy blew up the Ranger charries.

Iggy: -mutters- Not our best idea.

Alex: I would yell, but I still like you. Pyros…-cackles- Plus, I think you're becoming my favorite character.

Max: Gee, thanks!

Alex: IT'S NOT MY FAULT JAMES PATTERSON START MAKING YOU A HOUSEWIFE!!

Fang: What about me?

Alex: -glares- Don't EVEN get me started on you…though I admit you were pretty kewl. -sigh- I still love both of you.

Max and Fang: Yay!

Alex: Anyfroodles. The Ranger charries hath been healed by my newest obsession: BACON!!

Iggy: -drools-

Fang:-drools-

Gazzy: -drools-

Max: -drools-

Nudge and Angel: It's only bacon…

EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE FANGING ROOM: -le gasp-

Alex: -Gibbs' smacks 'em both-

Continuing on.

Here comes the Rangers!

Alyss: I thought we had a team name…

Alex: I'm too lazy to type it. Be glad I'm doing this chapter. Besides, NCIS is on.

Iggy: Wow. You're one dedicated writer.

Alex: -sigh- Tell me about it. Now, come 'ere Will.

Will: -cautiously steps forward-

Alex: Alrighty then! Let us grab the potion, strap the Ranger charries down, grab Dylan, Will's weapons, the bacon, and we'll be off!

Halt: Wait a minute now--

Alex: Too late! -snaps fingers and watches as magical pink rope encircles the Ranger charries-

Horace: Hey! No fair! That's not allowed!

Alyss: NOOOO!!! IT'S PINK!!!! IT !!!!

Alex: Exactly! -cackles-

Will: -tries to run-

Alex: -grabs, and pours potion on his eyes-

Will: NOOO!!! ICAN'TFANGINGSEEANYMORE!!

Alex: Haha! You used my word!

Will: WHATTHEFANG?!?! WHOCARES!! YOUJUSTFANGINGBLINDEDME!!

Iggy: -snorts- Welcome to my world.

Alex: -frowns- I'm sure Iggy took this much better than you did. 'Sides, you saw more than him. Suck it up and take it like a bird-kid.

Will: -glares in general direction- I. Fanging. Hate. You.

Alex: I. Fanging. Love. Iggy.

Iggy: You know, you're becoming much more obsessed with me than you usually are in this chapter.

Alex: I'm bored. What do you expect?

Iggy: Bacon and nachos.

Alex: Good point.

Fang: Why's everyone saying my name?

Alex: BECAUSE WE FANGING CAN!! :D

Everyone: RANDOM SMILEY!!

Will: CANWEGETTHEFANGONWITHTHIS?

Alex: Sure! We've wasted enough time already! -snaps fingers and Dylan (BOO!), bacon, nachos, bakon vodka, and Will's weapons appear-

-drinks some bacon vodka- Eww, this stuff does taste bad!

Alright now Will! We're going to strap Dylan to a tree. We'll put you almost right in front of him, 15 feet away, and let you loose. If you hit him at all, I shall say the dreaded words that the reviewer who reminded me about this story said, which I shall not utter here.

Halt: That we're better than Maximum Ride?

Alex: -stabs with straw-

Halt: -dies-

Alex: Sorry Halt. You were always my fav. But you just can't say stuff like that.

Alrighty then! Will, let's get to it!

Dylan: I'm not so sure about this--

Alex: I DON'T FANGING CARE!! I HATE YOU WITH THE WHITE HOT INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND FLAMING SUNS!!!

Dylan:…

Alex: WILL! FANING SOOT HIM BEFORE I MURDER EVERYONE HERE EXCEPT THE FLOCK!!

Will: -stumbles, draws, shoots-

-MISSES-

Alex: -cackles- I hath proved my points. Will. You. Missed.

Dylan: Can I go now?

Alex: -shoots-

Dylan: -dies-

Alex: I feel accomplished. Imma go eat bacon to revive myself of this terrible chapter.


	3. Chapter 3: Max Becomes a Ranger Later!

**Grrr….Max and Ari DO NOT LIKE EACH OTHER!!!**

* * *

Alex: And here we are yet again!

Crowd: -groans- Oh joy…

Alex: SHUT UP BEFORE I LAUNCH THE PURPLE COWS AT YOU!!!

Crowd: YAY! WOOHOO!! YEAH!!

Alex: Much better.

Max: So _now_ why are we here?

Alex: Because. She's gone too far this time.

Alyss: By 'she' I'm going to assume you're meaning the girl (Rowana Renee as she known as now) who treats us far better than you do--

Alex: Hey! It's not my fault Iggy and Gazzy blew you up!

Alyss: And seems to be in love with Will.

Will: Er, um, I only have eyes for you, Alyss.

Alex: I can't believe I just typed that. At least it had the 'er, um' thing.

Alyss: Nevertheless, she's flirting with _my_ man.

Alex: And she wants to become the first Ranger! -le gasp- THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA!! (And I seriously just thought of this!)

My idea?

_**WE SHOULD MAKE MAX A RANGER!!!!**_

OH YEAH!! I WENT THERE!!! SUCK IT!!!

Fang: That wasn't weird.

Max: Wait! What are we doing? I'm confused!

Alex: That's because your hair color changes so much. Don't blame it on me.

Max:…That made no sense….

Alex: YOU'RE LATE FOR TEA! -throws teacup-

Horace: That wasn't weird…

Alex: -insert happy smiley- I SAW ALICE IN WONDERLAND!!

Angel: -squeal- I _love_ Johnny Depp! He's so hot!

Nudge: I know!!! -fan girl squeal-

Alex: Another thing I can't believe I typed. The dares I do…

Halt: She can't become a Ranger.

Max: I can't? I can do whatever I damn well please, El Creepy-man.

Alex: I agree! This is _my _script! And it's run by the Energizer Bunny!

Energizer Bunny: -keeps going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going-

Everyone: That's a lot of goings.

Alex: Exactly. And I have cookies.

Will: What's a cookie?

Alex: YOU IDIOT BOY!! YOU KNOW WHAT A COOKIE IS!! THEY HAD THEM BACK THEN!!

Will: -cries like the coward I'm declaring he is-

Alex: Speaking of which, c'mon over here.

Will: -sniffles and walks over-

Halt: -glares-

Alex: Because of Rowana, as she is currently known, I'm going to have to prove something _yet again_. I would say sorry, but I'm feeling extreme dislike towards you at the moment. Probably because I don't have any bacon. -pours acid over eyes-

Will: ARRGGGHHH!! THIS HAPPENED IN THE OTHER STORY TOO!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

Alex: Well, I'm pretty much insane. I don't know about Rowana--

Everyone: As she is currently known as.

Alex: Awww, you guys learn so fast…

Now, Will, this is what you're going to do. I'm going to release the man who's currently singing on the GAC channel, who happens to be annoying me a lot. Mainly because he's already assumed the girl in his music video is already going to marry him without asking.

-releases annoying singer-

Annoying Singer: WHAT THE HELL?! I WAS GETTING MARRIED HERE!!!

Alex: -Gibbs smacks- YOU DIDN'T EVEN ASK HER IF SHE WANTED TO, MATT KENNON, AS I JUST SAW YOUR NAME!! WHAT THE HELL?

Matt Kennon, formerly known as the Annoying Singer: THAT'S BECAUSE SHE LOVES ME!!

Alex: SO? YOU COULD'VE HAD THE DECENCY TO FANGING ASK!!! -FACEPALM-

Matt Kennon, formerly known as the Annoying Singer: CAN WE GET ON WITH THIS SO I CAN GO MARRY HER? SHE'S HOT, AND I GOTTA A HONEYMOON TO ATTEND!

Alex: That's just wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Shame on you. The bacon will destroy you.

Matt Kennon, formerly known as the Annoying Singer:…?

Everyone: Just go with it.

Alex: Will, shoot him.

Will: WHAT?!

Alex: Do it, or your friends die.

Will: -grabs bow and arrows and aims-

Alex: I love blackmailing fictional characters. It's so amusing.

Will: -shoots-

Matt Kennon, formerly known as the Annoying Singer: LOSER!! YOU MISSED ME!!

Halt: -shoots Matt Kennon, formerly known as the Annoying Singer-

Alex: Halt, I think I love you. But that's too weird, so I'm going to go stand by Iggy now.

Iggy: Heyyyy.

Alex: -evil grin- Now. On to the relationship things, which I've been delaying for four pages.

Horace: Why?…

Alex: Because I hate discussing these things. They should die in a corner with pink and Mondays.

Max, Fang, and Iggy: Amen to that.

Halt, Will, and Horace: I agree. What's a Monday?

Alex: I think they had those back then. I'm too depressed to remember. So. The relationships.

Timer of Wonderfullness: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alex: -insert random smiley- YES! NO RELATIONSHIP DISCUSSIONS!!!

Everyone: Until the next chapter.

Ari: I LOVE MAX!! AS A GIRLFRIEND!

Max: I LOVE FANG, NOT ARI, AS A BOYFRIEND!! ARI'S MY _**BROTHER**_--heavy emphasis on _**BROTHER!!!!**_

Ari: D:

Alex: Join us next time when we discuss this, as well as how iStuff shall take over the world. Oh, and Max becomes a Ranger.

Max: Yee-Haw?


	4. Chapter 4: I Stole The Scanner

**This is getting bloody Fanging ridiculous. :D ^.**

* * *

Alex: So. She used a scanner.

Max: AND SHE CALLED ME GIRLY!! -growls-

Alex: That's the biggest insult ever.

Angel: Humph! And she made that short little freak over there _wings_!!

Nudge: That is sooooooooooo not cool!

Fang: I think the scanner's stalking me.

Iggy: I DIDN'T EVEN GET SCANNED!!!

Will: Just because I'm short doesn't mean I'm a freak!

Alex: Oh contraire, my soon-to-be-decapitated Ranger. In Rowana's story, you got wings.

Gazzy: I can't believe you took the wings, man. That's copyrighting.

Alex: Well, yeah, but then again, Max is going to become a Ranger…

Gazzy: True dat. But it's still not cool.

Alex: Fo'…so? I dunno how you would spell that…

Halt: Can we get on with it?

Alex: Heh heh. That's sorta what she said.

Halt: I'll have you know I'm a _man_. Not a _woman_.

Alex: -face palm- See, this is why I could never write a medieval book. It'd be all, 'I shoved it inside and wiggled it.' and it'd be something so simple as putting a key in a lock or something, and I'd randomly make some guy appear and say 'That's what she said'.

Everyone: D: EWWWWW!!!

Alex: Don't blame me. Blame Holly. And Sam. And Andrew. Shut up.

Horace: Can we please continue? I'm getting confused.

Alyss: Same here. But at least we don't have that creepy scanner to stalk us, because---

Scanner: I AM NOT A STALKER!!

Alyss: -screams-

Will: -screams-

Max: -glares-

Fang: -eyes widen, but doesn't scream, because he's Emo Boy-

Fang: I AM NOT EMO!

Alex: Deeeennnnniiiiiaaaallllll!

Fang: I AM--

Alex: EMO BOY!! Yeah, there you go! WOOT!

Fang: Damn it, woman! I AM--

Alex: EMO BOY!!

Fang: ARRRGGGGHHHH!

Alex: -cute, innocent smile of impending doom-

Fang: -Evil Glare of Destiny, copyrighted by Phoenix Fanatic-

Everyone: WILL--

Will: Yes?

Everyone: SHUT UP!! GET TO THE POINT!

Alex: Geez. Tough crowd. Now, today, we are going to scan Max, Fang, Will, and Alyss using the Scanner--

Scanner: Oooh, I get to scan Fang? -smacks lips and winks-

Iggy: Hey! I wanna get scanned!

Alex: -facepalm- Fine. Only because I love you.

Iggy: -grins suggestively-

Alex: Try it and you die. I meant the whole Pryo thing.

Iggy: D:

Alex: Ah, I love typing this script. So very amusing in some places. Or at least it is to me. Anyfroodles. Scanner?

Scanner: Hello! Heyyy Fang! -winkywinky-

Fang: -pretends to barf-

Will: How did you even get this over here?

Alex: I, uh, borrowed it.

Halt: You mean you stole it.

Alex: Did not! She/he/it came of her/his/its free will! I just promised her/him/it that she/he/it could scan Fang again!

Scanner: I do lurve me some Fang…

Alyss: Well, at least she's not after will anymore.

Scanner: Heck no. I don't want no medieval boy when I can have the big bad bird kid!

Max: -glowers-

Alex: Alrighty then, Scanner, you need to scaneth Will!

Scanner: -!!!- Will is an extremely confused boy. He's smart, though, and a good fighter. He CANNOT shoot blind. His humor's about as good as his attempts to shoot blind in this story. He has good skills with the bow, but that's only average for a Ranger. He IS NOT CUTE!

Alex: SUCK IT, ROWANA!

Scanner: Now Alyss?

Alex: Correctomundo!

Scanner: Alyss is an exceptional character. She's very beautiful, has grace and control, is very smart, and very awesomesause. Three cheers for Alyss!

Everyone: WOOOOOOOOOOT!

Alex: Now scan them together!

Scanner: Awww! They're so cute I could cry! -imaginary tears ruin down screen- **(Hey, I like Alyss! And sometimes I remember that I like Will…sometimes…)**

Alex: Cry and you die.

Scanner: -tears disappear-

Alex: SCANETH MAX!!

Max: -iz scanned-

Scanner: HOLY FANGING HELL!

Max: I swear, if you start hitting on me, I'll kill you.

Scanner: No, I was looking at my badass-o-meter. It's off the charts! It's almost up to Chuck Norris level! WAIT! IT PASSED CHUCK NORRIS LEVEL! IT'S HEADING TO GIBBS…but it doesn't make it. But still!

Alex: Can we continue with the rest?

Scanner: Max is fairly smart, and her wit is as sharp as razor-sharp sword. She's funny, and pretty, a tom-boy to the core. Sadly though, she has her soppy moments. She exaggerates, but no more than your average person.

Alex: And on to Fang!

Scanner: Heyy baby…

Fang: -gulps-

Scanner: HOLY FANGING CHIZFIZZ! THE BADASS METER HAS REACHED THREE POINTS BELOW GIBBS!! :D

Fang: Haha Max!

Max: -rolls eyes and grins-

Scanner: Not only is Fang as hot as the sun -winkywinky-, he's an AMAZING fighter, silent and deadly, like ninja assassins on steroids and bacon, and he's also interested in art, as confirmed in Max's Home School!

Alex: Which was extremely gay and pointless.

Flock: Ahem, sister!

Max: Hey!

Alex: It's true. Love you Max! NOW SCAN THEM AS A COUPLE!

Scanner: They balance each other out, though, admittedly, as pointed out in FANG--

Alex: Which annoyed me to no end.

Scanner:--they tend to think mainly of each other instead of the Flock. But that's just cuz they're sooooooo iiiinnnnn llllllluuuurrrrrrrvvveeee with each other.

Alex: Yeah yeah yeah, shatter my hopes that Max would be like me and not fall in love, go on.

Max: No offense, but you need more of a life.

Alex: And I think it's sad I just pointed that out to myself via FanFiction story.

Everyone: It is.

Alex: Okay. Now. Max? You're becoming a Ranger.

Max: YES!!

Halt: NO!!

Will: Oh no!

Max: Oh yes, stalker boy! YOU'RE GOING DOWN!

Alex: And training shall commence later! BEWARE THE iSTUFF!

Iggy: WAIT!! I DIDN'T GET SCANNED!!

Alex: D: I sowwee! Please forgive me, oh Pyro one!

Iggy: Sure. If I get scanned!

Scanner: Come on over!

Iggy: -iz scanned-

Scanner: HOLY FANGING COOKIES AND CREAM!

Iggy: WHAT?

Scanner: You iz hhoooootttt boy!

Iggy: -cackles-

Scanner: YOUR BADASS METER IS ABOVE GIBBS! :O :O :O :O :O :O :O

Iggy: SCORE!! TAKE THAT, MAX!! AND FANG!! YEAHHH BUDDY!

Alex: Rolling like a big shot, Chevy tuned up like a NASCAR--

Horace: Huh?

Alyss: It's one of those modern things.

Halt: Just ignore it.

Will: This is pointless.

Alex: IT IS NOT!! SEE? I HAVE A _PEN_!! PENS HAVE _POINTS!!_

Iggy: Oooh, is it a clicky pen?

Alex: THAT WAS ONLY IN THE MOVIE!!

Iggy: Okay then. So what's the rest of my results?

Scanner: You're hotter than the sun, for one thing.

Iggy: Suck it, Fang.

Fang: -glares-

Iggy: -cackles-

Alex: He's cackling so much. I'm so proud. :'D

Scanner: You're also a good fighter, even BLIND! You're hot hot hot hot, a pyro, a cackling master, and you're funnier than Max! :D

Iggy: I so just pwned you all.

Horace: What does--

Everyone: SHUT UP!!


	5. Chapter 5: Horribly Boring Chapter

**Worst. Chapter. Evar.**

Alex: I have an important announcement to make (Ooh, see, I put the announcement in there! BURN!) -clears throat-

Everyone: DUN DUN DUN!

Alex: -glares- Alrightly now. To P: Yup, both series are good. Yup, these two stories are useless and stupid. We're having fun. And killing characters off.

To Justin, Iggy's Imaginary Son: (St. Fang follower, am I right?) First off, this entire story, along with Rowana's, is A JOKE. Humor, sarcasm, randomness, Charlie the Unicorn. We are in no way serious, so it'd be awesome if you ran down to Wal-Mart and either got a sense of humor or at least a low tolerance of it. I'm not even going to touch the reviews you left me, because I'm not exactly sure what you mean in some of them, and everyone's entitled to their own opinion (some are wrong though-like saying bacon is bad? Shame on you, Summer.)

I will, however, hit one topic: Just because you're angry doesn't make you the better fighter. Hello, Star Wars? Try that while you're at Wal-Mart too.

Plus, Gibbs doesn't do axes. It's not in his contract. Sniper rifle all the way man. FTW.

Max: And now that we've cleared that up, let us continue!

Alex: Yeah! We're back again, after a long break and a discussion over other topics and laughing with MaxRide101, who left me. For three weeks. -sad face-

Everyone: Awwww…

Alex: But she left me with two pictures of Alex (the character) squirting Fang with a water bottle. Epic win of GFB doom.

Will: Would you get on with it?

Alex: FINE. So, Rowana says that you can be called cute by fan girls, and that it's better to be called cute to her than 'hawt'.

No.

Just no.

You call your five year old girl 'cute'. You call Taylor Lautner 'hawt'. You call your little puppy cute. You call Iggy hot. Are you seeing the difference? I think you are. And if not, well, I'm tired and I'm moving on.

Fang: This is going to be a boring chapter…

Alex: SHUSH! I'm going to do something I'm going to regret for the rest of my inane life.

Halt: And that would be…

Alex: I'm going to agree with Rowana.

Everyone: -screams, cowers in terror, dies in corners without bacon-

Alex: Oh, ha-ha, very funny. Stupid non-ninja people.

Angel: What are…what are you…-cringes- agreeing with her about?

Alex: Will/Alyss is…-cries- IT'S A LITTLE BETTER THAN FAX!

Everyone: -jaws drop-

Alex: I'M SORRY! But you have to admit, Max and Fang get really clingy in FANG, and…they left the flock, though Max had no choice, and…-cries-

Max and Fang: -stare and glare-

Alex: WHAT? I love you both, but I preferred you in MAX, where it was all kewl and stuff, and not the FANG crap.

Fang: …

Alex: But you did kind of redeem yourselves! I mean, you left the flock to make sure Max would be able to take care of them and save the world.

Max: -fuming-

Alex: …You weren't supposed to know about that.

Fang: Erm…

Alex: MOVING ON TO PROVE SOMETHING ELSE!

Angel: HURRY!

Alex: Okay, so, as much as I love Will and Alyss, though I do mentally berate them a ton, they're a little too perfect. Have you noticed that both of them seem to be really good at everything they do? That they're always super-awesome looking and one of the best? It's that way with just about all the RA characters.

I'm not saying that they're Mary Sues, but they are…a little _too _good, if you know what I mean. And it happens sometimes in MR, but…just not as much.

Now that I've bored everyone to pieces, I'll leave until next chappie. Ciao.


End file.
